Adoption (for children)
This section provides some information for children or young people who have been adopted or think they’ve been adopted.
Adoption (for children) What is adoption? What happens legally when I’m adopted? How is adoption arranged? What is an open adoption? Can I be adopted if I’m not a baby? Can I decide whether I am adopted or not? My birth parents disagree with my adoptive parents; they say I should have more rights, should I? Am I adopted? I’m 20, how do I find out if I’m adopted? Is there support available if I want to find my birth parents? How can I find my birth parents? How can I find my iwi and hapu if I’m adopted? What should I do if I don’t want my birth parents to find me? I’ve found my birth parents and I’d like to get in touch with them. How can I? Adoption (parent and relationships)
This section provides some information for children or young people who have been adopted or think they’ve been adopted.
Adoption is a legal process involving a child’s birth parents permanently giving up their legal rights and responsibilities towards the child to a new guardian or guardians. The adopting parent or parents become the child’s legal parents and guardians. When a child is adopted, they go into the permanent care of their adoptive parents.
Adoption is different to being looked after by a caregiver for a while, or going into foster care.
When a child or young person is adopted, they legally become the child of the people who have adopted them. In most situations, their birth certificate will show the names of their adoptive parents.
If the adoptive parents are New Zealand citizens, the child will also become a citizen and should get a New Zealand passport.
The adopted child or young person will be entitled to inherit property from their adoptive parents as if they are their birth parents. Adoption changes a child or young person’s legal relationship with their birth parents. They lose the right to inherit from their birth parents unless the birth parents specifically name their child in their will.
Most adoptions are arranged by Ministry for Children – Oranga Tamariki (OT), but a birth mother can make her own arrangements with people who she thinks are suitable. However, OT or a court-appointed social worker must still interview and report on the adoptive parents.
Open adoption involves a child, their birth family, and their adoptive family having ongoing contact after an adoption. They might keep in touch and might have regular meetings. This means that the adopted child or young person lives with their adoptive parents but can also see their birth parents.
The birth parents and adoptive parents are responsible for deciding how the adopted child or young person has contact with their birth family, and how often this happens. This can sometimes be a difficult process. The child or young person’s adoptive parents should listen to the child or young person and take their views into account about how much contact they have with their birth parents. The older the child or young person is, the more their views should be taken into account.
People are usually adopted when they are babies. However, people can be adopted up until they turn 20 years old.
In New Zealand, the Care of Children Act 2004 says that a child must be given reasonable opportunities to express their views on matters that affect them, and that these views must be taken into account by a court before the court makes a decision on that child’s care arrangements.
This means that the court should take account of the views of a child or young person when they are capable of forming their own views, depending on their age and maturity.
Even though an adopted child or young person might see their birth and their adoptive parents, legally, their adoptive parents are considered their legal parents, with the rights and responsibilities over their care and upbringing. Their birth parents don’t have these legal rights or responsibilities.
However, if you think you might have more rights than your adoptive parents are giving you, you can speak to them about this or, if you aren’t comfortable speaking to your adoptive parents about this or aren’t happy with how the conversation goes, you can contact Oranga Tamariki on 0508 326 459 or enquiry@ot.govt.nz to ask about your rights.
If someone thinks they are adopted but they are not sure, their parents (who might be their adoptive parents) might be willing to tell them. If not, and if their standard birth certificate does not say whether they are adopted, it can be difficult to find out before they turn 20.
However, once a person turns 20, they can find out whether they are adopted.
Once a young person turns 20 years old, they can request a copy of their full birth certificate from Births, Deaths and Marriages (BDM), the government department where information on births, deaths, marriages, civil unions and name changes is kept.
If they were adopted after 1 March 1986, their full birth certificate will have the name, address and occupation of their birth mother, and possibly of your birth father. They can also ask BDM for information they have that will help identify their birth parents.
If someone was not adopted, BDM will write to tell them this.
Before a person finds and contacts their birth parents, it is recommended that they get support from an adoption counsellor or agency.
When a person requests their full birth certificate, they can also request counselling. Counselling can be useful to help a person understand their situation and help them decide whether they want to try to contact their birth parents. If a person wants counselling, their original birth certificate will be sent to the counsellor, and they can collect it when they see them. If the person does not want counselling, their original birth certificate will be sent directly to them.
Once a person has the name or names of their birth parents, finding the parents can be a challenge. There are several options that they could use, including:
If the child/young person needs help finding a family lawyer to aid you in the adoption process, they can visit the New Zealand Family Lawyer website or alternatively you can contact your local community law centre. Before a person makes contact with their birth parents, they should make some plans, to make the situation as comfortable as possible for everyone involved.
Some Māori children are adopted by a whānau member. Children and young people in this situation might be able to learn about their iwi and hapu from several different places:
The Ministry for Children – Oranga Tamariki (OT) will have the names of the child/young person’s parents, and the child/young person’s place of birth, in their records.
Once a young person turns 19 years old, they can write to Births, Deaths and Marriages to say that they don’t want any contact with one or both of their birth parents. This request will be endorsed on the young person’s birth information, and their information to be given to their birth parent(s). An endorsement lasts for 10 years, so they will need to renew it every 10 years.
If a child/young person would like some advice about their situation, Births, Deaths and Marriages can put them in touch with a counsellor. If the young person changes their mind, they can write to BDM to request the change.
We note that, even if the child/young person doesn’t want their birth parents to find them and takes these steps, the parents might still be able to find them through unofficial avenues like social media.
A counsellor or a social worker from Births, Deaths and Marriages will be able to find out whether a child or young person’s parent(s) want(s) to meet them, and what their feelings are about doing so.
If a child/young person decides to contact their parent(s) on your own, it is probably a good idea to write a letter to them or give them a call first. This is because, if the child/young person just turns up on their parents’ doorstep, it could be a huge shock for their parents, or they might find it embarrassing if other members of the family do not know about the child/young person.
We have another section for adults wanting to adopt a child, or parents wanting to adopt out their child. It also covers relationship information for young people who have been adopted. Please see the section here.